20 October 2010

"are you made or broken by the birthday cake?"

Thanks Cibo Matto, for providing me my favorite birthday song of all time.

So, on the 19th I hit 26. Rounds up to 30. Fun times! For my birthday this year, several nice things conspired to happen in relation to my admittedly a bit frivolous consumption of purses and clothes. I found the most perfect black buttery, fulla-pockets leather purse of all time (I spent 7 fucking dollars on it at the thrift store -- not that you probably know me well, but spending 7 dollars on one item while thrifting, even for a birthday present, is a big deal for me. Not just because I like getting a good deal, but because I really felt guilty spending money because we're quite broke right now). I spent another portion of my birthday budget on stuff for the store. While I feel less guilty about that, I have to be quite cautious until I get some more action at the shop. I found a real treasure trove of items from 18-24, and although I couldn't get everything I thought other fats might like, I picked what I thought was the most likely to be appreciated. Buying for other people is a skill I don't think I've totally mastered yet. I still have tons of stuff yet to list. There will be time, right?

I'd been holding onto one of those 15 off 15 Layne Bryant coupons which went into effect, cosmically, on the day of my birth. I only really buy occasionally from LB. Mostly because my mother totally traumatized me over LB when I was a fat teenager, but also because their stuff is just prohibitively expensive and not made to fit my body anyway. I've gotten a few cute leopard print tops on clearance, but the bottoms and jeans never fit -- no matter how many little "right fit" shapes they offer me to try and tempt me into thinking they will. I carry all my weight in my lower belly, hips, and thighs, while my calves and ankles are (relatively) skinny. So even their "jeggings" aren't properly snug on me. It's like wearing the weirdest boot cut jeans of all time.

Anyhow, I went in looking to replace some tights (my thighs are tights-destroyers), and planning to spend the rest of my budget on covering the difference in the coupon (usually about 2 dollars over). I found actual leggings on sale, and picked out a pair of pale pink for 5.00 and another pair of black which were incorrectly placed in the sale basket. The awesome employee ringing me up gave me them for the sale cost of her own total awesomeness, which cut sixteen dollars off their price. The coupon covered the whole price, which meant I had some cash monies left over.

Unfortunately, I discovered a hole in the thigh of black pair (maybe why they were in the sale basket?) after wearing them for about an hour today, but maybe I can figure out a way to save them. Otherwise, they are roomy and comfy. I wore them out as pants with my purple flannel for Spirit Day, I'm sure to the horror of the body police (this time, the body police were suited up as two bros buying hot dogs at the grocery store; thanks for noticing me, fellas). Jack and Baby J were sporting their purple shirts today too -- in an otherwise pretty fluffy post, I want to send much love to all those hearts and lives bruised or broken by suicide, and by targeted bullying and a lack of proper care and response from school systems and communities.

Returning to lighter birthday news, my parents took my spouse, kid, and I to eat, bestowed upon me some hand-crafted Day of the Dead jewelry and locally made lavender and tea tree oil soap!

I present to you the best surprise cake of all time, made by my gorgeous, talented, and weird (and by weird I mean amazing) neighbor. That yummy shit's double-layered, too. If you're not as big of a nerdass as I am and don't recognize the cake right off, it's a replica of the cake Hagrid makes for Harry in Sorcerer's Stone (plus strawberries!). I mean. I mean. SO TASTY. I ate much of this cake. Plus, other wonderful friends in general were fun, brought me treats (chocolate treats! Goodwill giftcards!), made snacks, and watched/video recorded some truly brutal stone sober make-do karaoke. This was a birthday to be remembered for its awesome foodness -- my BFF4EVA got me smoked pork hocks from West Wind Farms! (I rarely buy meat to cook, so I am thrilled to have something tasty to make!) Also, another super amazing comrade came up with this beauty:

Do you see Leslie Hall? Because she's in there. Amazing.

I guess fat's all for now. (Did you see what I did there?)

gratuitous shot of my birthday make up



  1. That's so amazing that your neighbor not only made you a cake.... but the hagrid cake! What an amazing gift of geekiness mixed with deliciousness!

    I hear you about the tights... this has happened to me on my avenue tights. Maybe try clear nail polish on the end of the runs? I have some fray stop that I got at the fabric store that I put on one pair but it makes them kind of stiff and scratchy where it's put on, so I'm not sure if I've ruined the tights by making them scratchy vs. ruined them by putting a hole in them. I'm not sure which is worse :)

  2. Since the LB leggings are a bit thicker than regular tights, I think I may use your idea but try it with some fabric glue. I'll probably just fold over the fabric at the seam and see if it won't stay/not run anymore. They're really roomy, so I don't think folding it should compromise the fit too much. Thanks for the idea!