22 January 2011

a photo heavy re-cap of the past few days.

So, my parents found out that I shaved my head just today. My mother, in particular, seemed quite put off. I explained that due to a miscommunication between my care provider and pharmacy, I had been with meds for a couple of days, and made a spontaneous, probably ill-advised decision to shave my head. (Not because I've never done it before, but because it's winter, and I liked my hair. Impulse control is something I think my meds help with.) ANYWAY. I shrugged it off and said I would let it grow out a bit, then re-shave it to make it more even. (The unevenness really seemed to irk her.) This led to this long, irritating discussion about my being mentally ill.

Leatherbacks are the largest of the sea turtles, which I find satisfying appropriate.
They're also pretty damn shy, and adverse to being nagged by their mothers.
Everything you see here is thrifted, and the boots, which I love, are now up on my Etsy
 shop -- just needed to clear out some space. Hope somebody will love these beauties.

My mother, I'm almost positive, does not fully understand (or even care to understand) what my mental illness is like for me, and for my partner and child. Maybe it's a self-comforting thing, a defense mechanism, but it's getting pretty fucking old in the twenty-sixth year of my life. Somehow, my (too weird) hair, and my (too fat) body, my (too different) lifestyle -- I don't think my parents understand that they do not own any parts of me, although they had a hand in making those parts. Every decision I make "reflects" on them, somehow, even though I have a family of my own, and an adult life separate from theirs. I can't make them change. Anyway, it all boiled down to my mother wheedling away at me about whether or not I'm an able parent (I am).

Underneath that layer of nag was the unspoken but implied nag about how I expect to find a job with a shaved head (I don't). A job, other than perhaps some kind of work-at-home thing or something, is just not possible right now. I feel worthless just thinking about it. Admitting all of these things makes me feel like a stupid, disgusting failure. But the reality is, I can barely drive anywhere alone -- I can't even conceive of driving alone to work for any considerable distances. I can't go out into public spaces without risking an anxiety attack. Being sick, somehow, makes me inferior -- makes my mother think of me as a child who requires half-informed and, ultimately, useless nagging from a woman with a lifetime of her own bad decisions under her belt.

Enough bitching -- I know everybody (well, not everybody, but surely many other folks out there) has family woes.

I want to post about our craft! My partner and Baby J seemed to have traded stomach viruses of some kind, so it's been pretty iffy as far as progress around the house, but we did have a really pretty good time doing ....
The Monster Bag. 

Monster fur.

The tote. Cost approx. 1.50.

Supplies (-the bag and a marker). Cost about 4 dollars, plus we'll be able to
continue to use the glue and the pipe cleaners (the puff balls we used almost all of).

Toddler with safety scissors: supervised.

Felt body.

Repositioned, head added.

Two eyes added. Toddler disapproves.
Three eyes are better than two, evidently. Outlined limbs with pipe cleaners
and filled everything in with puffballs.

Adding a gross, huge monster tongue.

The aftermath (plus a cat). Note the decorative foot.

19 January 2011

sickness and thickness

[I threw on the skirt to go out in public, mostly I just lounged in these old Torrid leggings and thrifted sweater all day.]

Today Baby J was a sick pup, so we didn't get too much accomplished besides changing our clothes a bunch.The coconut milk I used in his oatmeal, I think, triggered a bad reaction -- he seems to be good now, sleeping curled up on the couch after eating four fruit popsicles, but it was a rough day full of vomit. I love coconut milk -- it's really delicious and sweet; we've used it before (in scrambled eggs, if you can believe it). so I'm a bit surprised it hurt his wee system so badly. I used it in my coffee this morning and I was just fine, poor kiddo.

Moving on. My partner gave me a break since I was yakked on about five separate times today, and I went out and about with my brother to a hobby store and to seek out toilet paper and Lysol. (Normally we don't use really strong cleaners, but I'm not messing around with disinfecting just in case Baby J's got a stomach bug.) I stocked up on some craft stuff we didn't have and that was half off -- I'm excited to see how the next couple of projects turn out.

When my brother and I get together we really augment our natural levels of genetically-gifted weirdness. It's good, though, since I don't get so anxious in public when I'm with someone else, and being with someone who has almost precisely the same sort of sense of humor as I do is a real bonus. It was the day of the star-nosed mole -- these little creatures are totally bizarre-looking and evidently live in expansive underground colonies, much like my own dear, bizarre-looking family.

The lovely Beej from The Busty Traveler (check our her blog for some truely inspirational DIYness) asked for more photos -- here goes!

I love a hot thing in a pug shirt.

I.... did not wash my hair today. Or yesterday. 

The back'a my shaved head. Needs to be touched up, yes it does.

What the hell is this for?

Truly, I should have bought this.


We stopped at the Goodwill and bought some old crappy CDs for fun and profit.

Part of the hobby store haul. GOOGLY EYES!

Fuzzy webcam photo from earlier today, when the pukeness began.

18 January 2011

a pink day, a pony day, ere the sun rises!

I'm still in a bit of a medication blur, and I think my clothes kind of reflect that. My provider and pharmacy miscommunicated and so I was without medication for a day or two, and that can really make everything very difficult.

Baby J and I did a fair bit of cleaning and organizing this morning, and since my time-telling skills have gone away for now, we almost missed our craft time! I slacked as far as innovation a bit to save time, since I think the painting would have taken too long (as it was between cleaning and making the puppets, we were 30 minutes late picking up my partner). So, I used a craft out of Baby J's High Five magazine. We made these funny little bear puppets (they remind me a little of Canadians ala South Park) and we told some stories about them to each other.

Kind of silly, but fun and simple.
My time-telling skills really, really suck. So, I decided to be a pony today. As far as I know, ponies also have really terrible time management capabilities. Maybe I looked a little ridiculous, but it was fun and frou frou. Everything featured on my pony self was thrifted or handed down. Also, sorry about the artfully placed guitar -- it was accidental. If you look behind me you can see our first ever craft of the day, a row of hearts with happy words and pictures, hanging on the curtain rod.

Go forth and be fancy!

17 January 2011

whatever, day.

Today blew. A combination of bad sleep and a weird reaction to my meds turned me into a zombie. It happens.

The craft of the day photo might become a regular thing -- today's was left at Baby J's grandparents' house, so I'll have to slide that one in tomorrow. I think we're doing mixed media on a 50 cent canvas I found at a thrift store tomorrow -- we'll see! Baby J is serious about the involvement of glue in all possible projects. I found safety scissors, glue sticks, and glitter glue at the thrift store, too, so we're set to make some messes.

My clothes made me pretty happy today -- sorry about the strange picture quality. I accidentally came by a new phone (it was a refurb my partner didn't like), so I'm using that to take most of my photos lately. I've also been wearing headwraps lately, and likely this is going to be a thing for me, because I'm totally nerding out and loving all the different ways to wear them.

Yummy, bad lighting. Everything thrifted/vintage, except for the Calvin Klein jeans.
The silk tank is courtesy of Sabrosa Vintage. Meanface courtesy of that
 shitty day I've been on and on about -- NEVERMIND, it's badgerface now.

I reaaaallllllly like this necklace. I'll probably just wear it with everything until I hate it.

Um, kay, I'm not any good at painting nails or anything,
but I've discovered it abates the urges  I get to pick at my various occasionally embarrassing
and somewhat painful  skin conditions. This is already a bit chipped, but it was fun to do. Plus I rediscovered some
  weird little bug nail stickers today. Not that it made the day suck any less, but at least it was cute while it sucked.

The pink spot is a paint splatter from our craft -- the sticker is a wee green worm. Yay worms!

Be not fooled by the smile, I was in total sulk-and-watch-Nick Jr. mode.